If Nigeria is to 'holistically' win the war against terrorism, its citizens must be allowed to defend themselves, by carrying arms, a army commander has said.
The Commander, 1 Brigade, of the Nigerian Army, Tasi'u Ibrahim, said Nigerians should be allowed the right to defend themselves if the country was to win the war against terrorism.
Mr. Ibrahim, a Brigadier General, made the call in Sokoto while addressing the Brigade's 2014 Officers Training Day.
He stressed that this was one of the measures that should be adopted "if Nigeria is to holistically win the ongoing war on terror."
According to him, this is being practiced in developed nations of the world.
Mr. Ibrahim listed other measures needed to defeat Boko Haram to include strict monitoring and severe restriction on the importation of certain goods being used to aid and abet such crimes.
He stated that such goods included motorcycles.
"It has been proved that a good number of the insurgents use them (motorcycles) for their attacks," he said.
"A good number of those selling petty things by the roadside in most of the nation's cities are simply easy preys in the hands of these insurgents.''
He also expressed concern with town planners in the country, "who allow the erection of illegal shops scattered all over the nation's major cities."
He called for urgent review of national planning system, settlement patterns and borders to check terrorism in the country.
The commander also reacted to the Senate's directive that the Chief of Army Staff should move to Borno to help quell the Boko Haram insurgency there.
He said the Chief of Army Staff does not necessarily have to relocate to the insurgency-prone states.
"The Chief of Army Staff is everywhere already, hence his representatives across the nation," he said.
He advised that national resources should be deployed in earnest towards addressing the ugly situation since "the army is just but a fraction of the national powers.''
Bodies of slain boys
On Thursday, two days after the Boko Haram gunmen attacked Federal Government College in Buni Yadi, Yobe State, the Joint Task Force have confirmed deaths of 29 male students.
The JTF spokesperson in Yobe State, Lazarus Eli, said as of Thursday morning, there were 29 casualties from the attack, all students.
In early hours of Tuesday, February 25, Boko Haram militants stormed the school, set the students' dormitories on fire and slit the throats of those who tried to escape.
According to local reports, soldiers guarding a checkpoint near the school withdrew hours before the attack.
The figure voiced by the JTF spokesman contradicts earlier updates suggesting the death toll from the massacre has risen to 59 students.
Yesterday, suspected Boko Haram militants carried a surprise terror attack on some communities in Adamawa State.
The latest attack is the fourth recorded on schools in Yobe State. GSS Damaturu, GSS Mamudo and College of Agriculture, Gujba were attacked last year.
Yobe, together with Borno and Adamawa States, has been under emergency rule since May 2013 to help the military to curb the Boko Haram activities.
The Nigeria Football Federation today showcased their new jersey for the upcoming FIFA world cup which will take place this summer in Brazil.
Nigeria's kit sponsor Adidas designed the kit, and Minister of Sports and Chairman, National Sports Commission, Alhaji Bolaji Abdullahi was present as the special guest of honour at the event which held at Sunday Dankaro Football House, Package B of the National Stadium Complex, Abuja.
From the Super Eagles crew, Daniel Amokachi, represented Big Boss Stephen Keshi, and local Eagles players like goalkeeper Chigozie Agbim, midfielder Abdullahi Shehu and striker Ejike Uzoenyi were in attendance.
Also invited where Director General of the National Sports Commission, Hon. Gbenga Elegbeleye, Chairman of the Senate Committee on Sports, Senator Adamu Gumba, Chairman of the House of Reps' Committee on Sports, Hon. Godfrey Gaiya, Chairman of the League Management Company, Hon. Nduka Irabor, President-General of Nigeria Football Supporters Club, Dr. Rafiu Oladipo and a number of prominent football figures.
Head of the marketing department, Mr. Adama Idris has described the jersey as a 'climacool' designed to fit into all weather as the Brazilian weather changes over time depending on location.
The colour of the jersey is lemon green, a totally different one from the green color typically associated with the Nigerian national flag.
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has announced the discovery of 715 new planets, increasing our knowledge of heavenly bodies by almost 70%.
Before this mankind's database had only known about 1000 planets, and in the newly discovered planet, there is about four planet located in where NASA believes can support life.
The new discoveries where made possible by a new telescope called kepler space telescope and were verified using a new technique that scientists expect to make new planetary discoveries more frequent and more detailed.
Planetary scientist at NASA, Jack Lissauer said: We've been able to open the bottleneck to access the mother lode and deliver to you more than 20 times as many planets as has ever been found and announced at once,".
The Kepler space observatory was launched into space in 2009 and is able to locate what NASA defines as habitable zone. Habitable zones are zones that are the right distance from a star for a moderate temperature that might sustain liquid water.
NASA's astrophysics Douglas Hudgins said: "Kepler has really been a game-changer for our understanding of the incredible diversity of planets and planetary systems in our galaxy, The new technique is called "verification by multiplicity," and relies in part on the logic of probability. Instead of searching blindly, the team focused on stars that the technique suggests are likely to have more than one planet in their orbit.
NASA says 95% of the planets discovered by Kepler are smaller than Neptune, which is four times as big as Earth. One of them is about twice the size of Earth and orbits a star half the size of Earth's sun in a 30-day cycle. The other three planets in habitable zones also are all roughly twice the size of Earth.
Scientists claim to have developed a 'death test', which predicts the chances of someone dying in the next five years.STUDY: A simple blood test has been found to calculate a person's likelihood of dying.A simple blood test has been found to calculate a person's likelihood of dying inthe next half-decade, even if they appear perfectly healthy.Experts suggest there are four 'biomarkers' in the body, which indicate the risk of a "general frailty".A biomarker is a particular molecule found in the body that may signal a condition or disease.Those with certain levels of these biomarkers were found to be five times more likely to die within five years of the blood test.One in five with the highest biomarker scores died within the first year of the study.Currently, tests can be carried out to assess someone's risk of developing a certain disease.But the new 'death test', developed by Estonian and Finnish researchers, is the first to predict whether someone is at risk of general ill health."What is especially interesting is that these biomarkers reflect the risk for dying from very different types of diseases such as heart disease or cancer,"said Dr. Johannes Kettunen from the Institute for Molecular Medicinein Finland."They seem to be signs of a general frailty in the body. We believe that in the future these measures can be used to identify people who appear healthy but infact have serious underlying illnesses and guide them to proper treatment."Blood samples from over 17,000 generally healthy people were screened for hundreds of biomarkers, with participants then monitored over five years.During that time, 684 people died from a range of illnesses and diseases, with scientists finding similar levels of four biomarkers in all of them.Estonian researchers had originally discovered the link, before they asked a Finnish team to repeat the study, which was later published in PLOS Medicine.Professor Markus Perola of Finland's Institute for Health and Welfare said:"It was a pretty amazing result. First of all we didn't really believe it.It was astonishing that these biomarkersappeared to actually predict mortality independent of disease.These were all apparently healthy peoplebut to our surprise it appears these biomarkers show an undetected frailty which people did not know they had."But, Prof. Perola was unsure whether thetest would become popular.She added: "Would someone want to know their risk of dying if there is nothing we can do about it?"
The Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) has confirmed the appointment of former Nigerian
International, Emmanuel Amunike, as the new head coach of the Nigerian male U-17 national team, the Golden Eaglets.
This has been confirmed by the head of the NFF's technical committee, Emmanuel Ikpeme, in an interview to BBC Sport.
He stated that that Amunike's appointment was borne out of the need for continuity, since Amunike was an assistant to Manu Garba, who led the Golden Eaglets to World Cup glory in 2013.
"We have opted for continuity because these coaches are highly experienced and qualified to continue with the progress we are making.
"We've had a couple of disappointing experiences in the past and it was felt that we couldn't take the same route again,"NFF official said.
Mr Ikpeme also noted that the new Eaglets' head coach used to be a great player and that the NFF believes that Emmanuel Amunike deserved his new role, as the new manager of U-17 National Team.
Nigerian music star Davido knows how to enjoy the luxurious life as the shares the new photo of himself travelling from abroad.
Want the proof of Davido's charmed life? Here it is: all those stylish cars, fancy jewellery and the luxurious trips abroad!
And one more... The admired celebrity shared this photo via Instagram, captioning it "London Town see u soon!!"
Check out the picture below:
Meet Edward Hernandez, 28, his dream is to own a country farm, have a girlfriend, and drive a Jeep.
It's not a huge dream, but for Edward, who lives in one of the poorest neighbourhoods in Colombia's capital city of Bogota, relies on his parents for everything, and stands at just 27 inches tall, it might as well involve building a castle made of diamonds on the moon.
Until 2009, Edward and his family lived in relative obscurity. He had been angry and depressed as a child when he didn't grow while the other children or his siblings did, but he was beginning to accept his fate.
It's not a huge dream, but for Edward, who lives in one of the poorest neighbourhoods in Colombia's capital city of Bogota, relies on his parents for everything, and stands at just 27 inches tall, it might as well involve building a castle made of diamonds on the moon.
Until 2009, Edward and his family lived in relative obscurity. He had been angry and depressed as a child when he didn't grow while the other children or his siblings did, but he was beginning to accept his fate.
He mostly stayed indoors to avoid the constant battle of people picking him up and 'kids asking silly questions', but he and his family were content running his mother Noami's textile business above their house.
Their only fear was whether or not they mollycoddled him, and whether he would ever be able to cope alone if he needed his younger brothers' help even to go to the bathroom.
Indeed, as one said: "He can't go around by himself. He'd go missing. People pick him up as if he's a toy. And then, oof! we've lost Edward."
But then, in 2010, He Pingping, the world's smallest man, died in China, and the Guinness World Records people came calling.
They measured him, and made him the new record-holder. Overnight, Edward became a superstar, hoisted onto the shoulders of the world's media and bounced into the spotlight.
"I was so happy I almost cried," he said. "I was the shortest man in the world. The only one smaller than all the other kids."
A keen dancer, he was thrust onto Colombian TV wearing sparkly little suits and shimmied his way to stardom. He appeared on national chat shows and was paid well for his appearances.
He was given free medical care and operations for the myriad complaints he'd had since birth, sometimes in exchange for publicity and campaign backing. He even met the Colombian president at his palace.
Sensing his dreams inching closer, Edward visited a Jeep dealership to test out some models, telling the salesmen he would return to buy one once more money flooded in.
But, as Marco Frigatti, of Guinness World Records explained: "We knew that the reign of Edward, as the shortest man, could be very short."
Just six weeks into Edward's record, the world's smallest teenager - Khagendra Thapa Magar, in Nepal - turned 18 and became eligible for the 'world's smallest man' category.
One inch shorter than Edward, it made all the difference. He claimed the record and Edward became old news.
Suddenly the attention dried up and Edward became depressed, missing the stardom he once held.
"When I first saw him I got really mad and felt in a bad mood," Edward said. "But my mum said I should be happy for him."
His mother said: "He's happy being surrounded by an audience that responds to him. It makes him feel special.
But when the fuss is over he feels empty and alone. He's sad and unsettled."
Edward now works with his friend Pablo in shopping malls, selling himself on still being 'the smallest man in the world'. They make about £50 a day each.
Edward still lives in the moment, but is stuck between being an adult and looking like a child, and never sure which he is.
But, smiling, he says: "I like being both a kid and an adult. That way everyone likes me. They pick me up and kiss me. And they take me on trips."
Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has dismissed his team's chances of winning the ongoing English Premier League, EPL, during what he believed was a private chat.
*Mourinho
The Portuguese, whose team are top of the Premier League and face Galatasaray in the UEFA Champions League on Wednesday, questioned how good Samuel Eto'o, Fernando Torres and Demba Ba are.
Mourinho believed he was chatting privately to senior representatives from watch manufacturer Hublot.
But, during the sponsorship launch, French TV company Canal Plus captured the exchange.
"I have a team but no striker," Mourinho said.
"It is not possible for us to win the Premier League.
"We have Samuel Eto'o. Yes, Eto'o, but he is 32, maybe even 35, I don't know."
During an interview with Canal Plus, Mourinho dismissed the potential of signing star strikers Edinson Cavani and Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
The 19-year-old Frenchman admitted hitting several cars before crashing his Ferrari into a tree earlier this month.
He was charged with causing unintentional injuries, endangering people's lives, a hit and run and driving without a licence.
The prosecutor had asked for 170 hours of community work but the court handed him the suspended sentence instead.
Eleven people, some of whom were slightly injured, had filed a civil complaint.
"I panicked," the player told a Montpellier court on Monday, when asked why he never stopped after hitting the vehicles.
Francois Lafont, lawyer for the plaintiffs, said: "It was pure craziness. It´s not just an accident, this is assault. Ten people could have been killed."
At least 29 people have been killed in a Saturday morning attack on Barkin Ladi Local Government Area of Plateau State.Seventeen others were also injured in theattack, believed to have been orchestrated by suspected Fulani herdsmen.According to Julius Bala, who heads the youth vigilante group in the area, a total of 29 dead bodies and 17 injured others were counted immediately after the attack.Bala berated men of the Special task Force in Plateau (codenamed Operation Safe Haven) for always arriving at scenes of the killings only after the gunmen have escaped."The Plateau State Command of the Nigeria Police claimed to have established a Joint Security Committee comprising community leaders, Police, SSS, STF and so on, for intelligence gathering towards stopping the attacks, but nothing has happened",he lamented.The Police in the State have confirmed the attack, but refrained from specifying the casualty toll.Onlytwo days ago, 13 people- comprising nine children, two men and two women - were murdered in an attackon residents of Rapyem Village in Fan District of Barkin Ladi LGA.At least 163 people have been killed this year alone in attacks on vulnerable civilians in Plateau villages.
Shortly after the recently suspended Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, arrived to Lagos from Niger, his travelling documents were seized by the officials of the State Security Service.In Niger, Mr. Sanusi had attended a meeting of governors of central banks in the West African sub-region.As soon as his plane landed at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport in Lagos, plain-clothed operatives detained him and insisted that he surrendered his passport and stayed at the airport until the arrival of the Lagos state director of the SSS.After a while, though, Mr. Sanusi was allowed to leave; however, his passport was confiscated.He was received by a group of associates and friends led by by a former Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Nasir El-Rufai. They drove out of the airport in a convoy heading towards Ikoyi.The story continues belowEarlier today, President Goodluck Jonathan ordered immediate suspensionof Mr. Sanusi from his office on the basisof "various acts of financial recklessnessand misconduct inconsistent with the administration's vision of a Central Bank".Speaking on behalf of the President, Reuben Abati, Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, ordered the Central Bank governor to hand over to the most seniorDeputy Governor of the bank, Mrs. Alade,who will serve as Acting Governor until the conclusion of ongoing investigations into alleged breaches of enabling laws, due process and mandate of the Central Bank.Mr. Sanusi was suspended in absentia, as he was at a three-day meeting of the West African Central Bank Governors. Upon learning the news, he changed his travel plans.It will be recalled that the suspended CBN Governor accused the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation of corruption and financial mismanagement, saying the body had diverted federal revenues accruing to thenation from the sale of crude oil. Mr. Sanusi says as much as $20 billion oil money is missing.
Eleven people have been reportedly killed by gunmen suspected to be members of the Boko Haram insurgents on Monday night at Galga village in Ga'anda District in Gombi Local Government Area of Adamawa State. According to an eye witness, the gunmen stormed the village at about 8:30 pm on Monday night and sporadically shot at the people they could find in what led to the death of 11.
Details coming soon.
Source:Naij
It was a night of glitz and glamour when HP Nigeria recently launched the HP Officejet Pro X series - the world's fastest desktop printer which has earned a Guinness World Record title for unsurpassed speed at the Abora Hall, Eko Hotel and Suites. It was launched alongside new introductions in the HP Elite Portfolio powered by Windows 8 Pro.
Designed for business and enterprise, the Officejet Pro X series features breakthrough HP PageWide Technology, a stationary print bar that spans the width of a page and prints entire documents in a single pass, enabling the printer provide professional colour quality of laser up to 70 pages per minute - at twice the speed and half the cost per page of most colour laser printers.
Tosin Okubanjo, LES Category Manager, West, East and Southern Africa presenting during Elite Experience with HP event at Eko Hotel recently
The Elite Portfolio is an addition to HP's premium line of PC products with new introductions such as the HP EliteBook 820, 840 and 850. These notebook series are powered by Windows 8 Pro, are up to 40% thinner and 28% lighter than previous generations while packing high durability, the Intel Core family of processors and HP SureStart that delivers future-proof technology with automatic protection from BIOS attacks or corruption.
Speaking at the launch of the HP Officejet Pro X in Lagos, Tosin Okubanjo, LES Category Manager, West, East and South Africa for HP, said: "The Officejet Pro X series are not just printers, but the world's fastest desktop printers certified by the Guinness Book of Records. They offer duplex printing, copy, scan and fax functions, a 500-sheet input tray enabling you to print high volumes of work, easy to change cartridges, and more incredibly, HP ePrint with which you can easily print from your smartphone or your tablet."
"The Elitebook series provides greater efficiency with a portable weight of less than 3 pounds and 12 to 15.6-inch diagonal displays," stated Paul Ofulue, HP Oil & Gas Account Manager, Nigeria, "Unlike most notebooks, these series provide a slim, removable hard drive for you to take on the go. They also provide a long life cycle with platform stability up to 18 months. Moreover, the devices are made secure with the industry's first healing solution, HP SureStart which detects and remedies malware and security attacks to the BIOS.
The Officejet Pro X series consists of four Officejet series- HP Officejet Pro X476dn MFP and HP Officejet Pro X576dw MFP which are both multifunction printers with copy, fax and scan capabilities, and the HP Officejet Pro X451dn and HP Officejet Pro X551dw which have printing functions only. They all have a front USB, can print between ISO speeds of 36ppm and 42ppm and use up to 50% less energy than laser printing, with ENERGY STAR efficiency.
Furthermore, with unique ink-to-page binding processes that produce sharper text and more vibrant images than conventional inkjets, optional high-capacity ink cartridges and paper trays that allow longer print cycles, HP Web Jetadmin and HP Universal Print Driver management tools and easy mobile printing from almost anywhere with Wi-Fi and HP ePrint, all users will find the HP Office Pro X series an office asset they cannot afford to lose.
It's never too early or too late to help your child develop the skills for academic success. Learn how to build these skills and stay on track all year long.
By GreatSchools Staff
It takes a combination of skills — organization, time management, prioritization, concentration and motivation — to achieve academic success. Here are some tips to help get your child on the right track.
Talk to your child.
To find out which of these skills your child has and which he can develop further, start a simple conversation that focuses on his goals. Ask him about his favorite subjects, classes he dreads and whether he's satisfied with his latest progress report.
Listen for clues.
Incorporate your own observations with your child's self-assessment. Is your child overwhelmed by assignments? She may have trouble organizing time. Does your child have difficulty completing her work? She may get distracted too easily. Is your child simply not interested in school? She may need help getting motivated.
Identify problem areas.
Start here to help your child identify which of the five skill areas are trouble spots.
1. Organization
Whether it's keeping track of research materials or remembering to bring home a lunch box, children need to be organized to succeed in school. For many students, academic challenges are related more to a lack of organization than to a lack of intellectual ability.
Tips to help your child get organized:
Make a checklist of things your child needs to bring to and from school every day. Put a copy by the door at home and one in his backpack. Try to check with him each day to see if he remembers the items on the list.
Find out how your child keeps track of his homework and how he organizes his notebooks. Then work together to develop a system he will want to use.
Shop with your child for tools that will help him stay organized, such as binders, folders or an assignment book.
2. Time Management
Learning to schedule enough time to complete an assignment may be difficult for your student. Even when students have a week to do a project, many won't start until the night before it's due. Learning to organize time into productive blocks takes practice and experience.
Tips to help your child manage time:
Track assignments on a monthly calendar. Work backward from the due date of larger assignments and break them into nightly tasks.
Help your child record how much time she spends on homework each week so she can figure out how to divide this time into manageable chunks.
Together, designate a time for nightly homework and help your child stick to this schedule.
If evenings aren't enough, help your child find other times for schoolwork, such as early mornings, study halls or weekends.
Source: Greatschools.org
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By Kristin Luce
After a quarter century of personal, scholastic and professional experience with relationships, I have finally discovered why none of them work—neither for me, nor for anyone with whom I have encountered.
To illustrate the point, let me tell you about my most successful relationship to date. It lasted for 36 hours.
We met at a party of mutual friends, and quickly fell into a “Bubble of Wow,” together. It encapsulated us in a solitary and intense kind of intimacy for a while—even in the midst of the fray and party-goers—until we finally found a quieter space.
We then spent most of the next day and a half together. It was one of those, “where have you been all my life” kind of things.
When we parted on an early morning a day and a half later—after lots more “Wow”—I could feel that something was shifting ever-so-slightly in him, and for the next three days he didn’t call or reach out in any way.
I didn’t either.
I sensed that time was needed for whatever had come up between us. When I finally sent a short text (“I’d love to see you”), he texted back simply that he could not—that he was, in his words, “out of his integrity.” I never saw him again.
So after 25 years of intimacy and working with couples why is this 36-hour, seemingly failed connection, the most successful relationship I have ever encountered?
It’s successful because I didn’t feel blame or outrage that he “ditched me.” I just heard him: he was out of his integrity. I don’t want my friends or loved ones to feel out of their integrity.
Hell, if my kid told me she felt out of her integrity and was changing things in her life to rectify it I would applaud her! I might take her out for sushi to celebrate. (her favorite) Why would I want someone whom I care about to compromise himself?
I want to note that this wasn’t just an intellectual understanding and that is why, for me, it was successful.
Had I tried to talk myself into being happy about it (read: suppressed smoldering rage at being rejected), well, it would hardly have been a success story. The beauty and testament of it was that my actual, visceral, uncontrived response at not seeing him again—a man I liked and wanted very much—was joyful.
When I realized that my desire for him to be happy was stronger than my own personal disappointment, I knew that I had turned a corner.
So let’s take a hard look at why relationships never seem to pan out. I mean, really—have you ever seen a functional relationship? There are some that seem to be functional, or possibly even very good, but we never really get to know too much about them. Then later, we discover the seedy underbelly—often when the couple splits—and are disillusioned all over again.
This one had domestic violence in it. That one has been a sexless marriage for the past 10 years. This one had one partner lying and cheating on the other. That one was more of a business arrangement, waiting patiently until the kids were out of the house. The list goes on and on.
Further, the relationships that seem truly mature are ones that we know almost nothing about: Adaya and Mukti, Barak and Michelle, Katie and Stephen, Will and Jada—never-mind the myriad hollywood couples that are constantly appearing as perfect and happy in the media.
Perhaps they are the exceptions, or perhaps they are just a whole lot better at hiding what isn’t perfect about them. The point is that I have never had a direct experience of what most of us would call a deeply mature, intimate relationship that lasts over time, and no one I have ever met has either.
It seems, quite frankly, that relationships don’t work. And as a long-term researcher, impassioned by the mystery of it, I think I have discovered why.
Relationships are based on the fallacy that I exist, you exist, and that my happiness, connection and fulfillment can be met by something from the outside—that there even is an outside.
That might sound esoteric, but stick with me.
When we look at our experience we can’t actually find a “person,” or even a “self.” In any experience we can find what we call color, the sound of a voice, the experience of a touch, etc. Without a belief in a self, other or time—which are all just thoughts and images in the mind and have no substance—all we have is this moment.
No past, no future, no lover, no “relationship,” and that—to spoil the ending—is the only place where intimacy can reside.
The truth is that we are all living in fantasy-land and we build our relationships on that ground. What it means is that as long as you have an ego your relationships will fail.
So at this point you might be thinking, “OK that’s pretty depressing. I guess I have to become a celibate hermit or else resign myself to having painful, non-functional relationships.”
Herein lies the solution: Recognize that relationships are not primarily based on love, they are based on fear. Once we know this, we can work directly with the fear itself instead of on the other person or “the relationship.” We may discover that relating with another is not about our pleasure or comfort at all (although that’s sometimes a by-product), but about discarding every confusion we are still trapped in.
Byron Katie said, “Egos don’t love, they want something.”
When ego is operating—which let’s face it is pretty much 100% of the time—then no matter how good we try to be, how loving, selfless, kind or noble, we in fact want something.
We might simply want their approval, or we might want financial security, someone to stand by us, to be seen in a particular way, their validation, to avoid responsibility, or a long list of other things.
There is nothing wrong or bad about wanting something from someone. In fact, without the thought that we shouldn’t want something in a relationship, we can simply get honest and admit that we do! We might also notice that our partners do too. So, if you think that your partner is manipulating you to get what they want, it’s probably because they are.
They are not bad, just like we are not bad. They are motivated by fear, just as we are.
So how does fear operate? It motivate us to leave love in order to stay “in control.”
It whispers things in our ears like:
“You’ll be alone.”
“You won’t be able to support yourself.”
“You’ll be homeless.”
“You’ll become dependent.”
“They will manipulate you if you show your love too much.”
“They’ll use it against you later.”
“You need their love and affection.”
“You’ll never be happy again.”
What happens when we believe such thoughts is, ironically, that in the name of love we leave it. We begin to manipulate, withhold, and lie to our partners in order to get what we want or avoid losing something.
Here’s an example:
When I didn’t hear from “Wow-Bubble” Guy I could have pretended that I was no longer interested, told him that he was out of integrity by not talking more directly with me (especially now that I’ve discovered that his being in integrity is a sore spot for him), cajoled him into viewing our connection as an important relationship and insinuated that he was just scared.
I could have threatened to withdraw my appreciation of him or even to see him again—or used any of other the tactics that I have in my past relationships to try to get what I want.
That is not love.
That is reaction based on fear—fear of what will happen and/or what his actions mean about me.
OK, so my encounter was just a day and a half, but what happens when our fearful thoughts prey on a longer term relationship, one in which we have far more invested in? What happens when we watch as our blissful intimacies predictably begin to fail?
Most of us withdraw, manipulate, become fearful, jealous, go into denial, blame ourselves, become controlling or lash out. Meanwhile our partner is doing some version of the same thing. Even though we may be “in relationship” over time we are way out at sea, alone and often in pain.
At some point we face the ugly dilemma of whether it would cause us less pain to leave the relationship or to endure it, even while recognizing that neither of those prongs will bring peace because neither gives us the intimacy, connection, or comfort we seek.
So brace yourselves. Here’s what love looks like.
Love is feeling delight when your partner ditches you. Love is when you can’t find a partner and you enjoy how happy others are to have found one themselves—and all that’s beautiful about sleeping alone. Love is leaving someone you know you shouldn’t be with rather than holding them hostage to your fantasy or needs. Love is when you love and appreciate another who apparently doesn’t appreciate you back, or maybe even notice you.
I sometimes attend a drop-in group mostly to bask in the presence of a beautiful man whose often there and apparently has no interest in me. I get to see him, adore him, hear his brilliance and witness his huge heart. I
Source: via Jenna on Pinterestsometimes even get to hug and smell him. Pure love, without requirements or agenda.
Here’s the secret and the power of it: If you want a good relationship then have one. Take it, don’t wait for permission. If you want love then be love and you will never be separated from intimacy and connection again.
What does that look like? It means caring for the other as much as yourself, especially when he or she doesn’t do what you want. It means deeply respecting what they want for themselves, which may or may not mean being near you. It means that if they say “don’t call me,” then don’t, and keep your heart wide open. It means if they say, “I need you,” and it’s not right for you, you say “no,” and keep your heart wide open.
So, I know what some of you are thinking: “If I let go of trying to get what I want in relationship then I will never have it.” But why would unilaterally staying open to someone—loving them and setting them totally free from your own expectations and judgments—make a positive, functional or long term relationship any less likely?
I think it would make it a lot more likely actually, and in the meantime how much fun is it to adore everyone like your own, sweet lover, whether they know it or not?
I will leave you with a quote. It will be a blessing to you every time your relationships fail—as they predictably will—while you quietly become love itself:
“You are your only hope, because we’re not changing until you do. Our job is to keep coming at you, as hard as we can, with everything that angers, upsets, or repulses you, until you understand. We love you that much, whether we’re aware of it or not. The whole world is about you.” ~ Byron Katie
B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. in Buddhist Psychology, intensive retreat practice, certification as a Meditation Instructor, two life-changing relationships and two life-changing kids. She now provides in-depth coaching for individuals and couples who want profound and dramatic transformation. An avid writer, she has been featured in such publications as Mothering Magazine and The Buddhadharma, and is a regular contributor to elephant journal. Friend her on Facebook, Twitter, her website or contact her at info@kristinluce.com.
One person has been confirmed dead while properties worth millions of naira were destroyed in a tanker fire incident that occurred on Monday night at Takie area of Ogbomoso in Oyo State, western Nigeria.
*A file photo of a truck accident
Reports have it that the fire was caused by a petrol tanker which crashed into a nearby park following brake failure.
Some eye-witnesses told newsmen that the vehicle, which was trying to negotiate a roundabout at Takie, fell and spilled its content before bursting into flames.
The Oyo State Police Command confirmed the death of a motorcyclist who was crushed when the vehicle ran into the park.
The spokesperson of the command, Mrs Bisi Ilobanafor, confirmed the death of the motorcyclist in an interview.
Ilobanafor also said policemen as well as officials of the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps and the State Fire Service were at the scene to put out the fire.
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Hundreds of aggrieved students of the Lagos State University, LASU, as well as a coalition of civil society groups led by Joint Action Front, JAF, Tuesday morning besieged the Lagos State House of Assembly in protest against the hike in school fees of the institution and other issues that have hindered smooth academic activities in the school.
* LASU VC
The protesters, who stormed the House from the Textile Labour House on Acme Road, Agidingbi area of the state in western Nigeria, where they had mobilised, were armed with placards with various anti-government inscriptions and chanted anti-government songs to press home their grievances.
According to secretary of JAF, Comrade Abiodun Aremu, the group is supporting the students protest to save the country from future decay.
"On behalf of the Joint Action Front, we endorse the protest for one reason, and the reason is that the right to education is non-negotiable.
"The crisis in LASU is basically about the hike in school fees, which makes it impossible for parents that are already undermined by the decadence in the economy to afford education for their children.
"No parent should vote for the present administration that is denying their children a right to be liberated," Aremu said.
In another petition written on behalf of the #SaveLASU Campaign Movement by the Education Rights Campaign, ERC, and submitted to Lagos State House of Assembly, the group demanded the reopening of LASU on 24 February, for all students, reversal of hiked fees and review of the Assembly's resolutions on the 23 January crisis that occurred in the institution.
In the petition made available to newsmen, the group stated that the new calendar as approved by the university's Senate showed how deceitful, vengeful and insensitive the Prof. Obafunwa-led management was.
"This calendar announced by the university management on 17 February, 2014 is unfair to a majority of students of the institution especially those in 100, 200 and 300 levels," the petition said.
The deputy Speaker of the House of Assembly was about to address the students and activists at the time of this report.
The institution's management had shut down the school on 23 January after students rioted and destroyed school property and vehicles belonging to top officials of the school.
The protesters, who had disrupted the second semester examination over the institution's closure of its registration portal, also almost lynched their Vice Chancellor, Prof. John Obafunwa, as they pelted him with stones and vandalised his car as he tried to evade the riot by escaping through an alternative route beside Conoil Filling station close to the school.
But the VC and other management team, who were summoned to the state House of Assembly over the crisis, told the lawmakers that less than 2,000 of the about 12,000 students of the institution were yet to register fully for their courses before the portal was shut.
Prof. Obafunwa had told the lawmakers, who pleaded for the re-opening of the registration portal, that he almost lost his life as some of the students, who were masked and carrying dangerous weapons, went in search of some targeted officials of the institution.
He said the management decided to shut the portal so as to adequately prepare the registered students for the second semester examination, and since only 1,292 students were yet to register.
But the representatives of the Students' Union Government, SUG, told the lawmakers that the entire riot stemmed from the hike in the institution's fees from N25,000 to between N193,750 and N348,750 depending on the course.
Olivier Giroud has sensationally admitted to cheating on his wife hours before Arsenal's crunch FA Cup clash with Liverpool, via an announcement on Twitter.
The striker was accused by The Sun of meeting American model Celia Kay in a hotel room the night before the Gunners played Crystal Palace at the Emirates on February 2.
Giroud at first denied the encounter, but after photos emerged of the half-naked Frenchman in Kay's room, the 27-year-old has now publically confessed to the meeting.
He wrote, in French and English: 'I apologise to my wife, family and friends and my manager, team-mates and Arsenal fans.
'I now have to fight for my family and for my club and obtain their forgiveness. Nothing else matters at the moment.'
Giroud is expected to receive a heavy fine from Arsenal for breaching club curfew rules prior to a game.
Celia, who was at the hotel from 12.50am to 3.04am on February 2, told last week how she and Giroud were 'extremely loving and tactile' but did not have sex.
The University of Lagos management has revealed that its proposed 15storey female hostel building which they would start to build soon will be named after the wife of the president, Patience Jonathan.
Mama Peace is expected to be in Lagos on Friday, Feb 22, for the foundation laying of the project which is expected to gulp N3billion.
Speaking at a media parley yesterday, the deputy vice chancellor Prof Duro Oni said they are naming the hostel after Mama Peace because of her immense contributions to the development of womanhood in Nigeria. Continue...
"It is a female hostel and the person due to be named after it is the President’s wife who has touched the lives of many women. Over time, we have been having issues with shortage of accommodation, especially for our female students; but as it stands, we are about to witness a huge relief in that regard. I must thank the first lady for agreeing to be part of the history-making event and also thank our parents for coming to partner with us,” he said." he said. The project, tagged: “Dame Patience Goodluck Jonathan’s Female Hostel Complex’’, is expected to be completed in two years and would be financed by the parents forum of UNILAG." Prof Duro Oni said
UNILAG has a population of 28,000 students with accomodation provided for just 8,000 of the undergraduates.
Princess Stella Oduah has formally handed over to the Minister of State for Trade and Commerce, Dr Samuel Ortom following her sack by the President last Wednesday, February 12th. (Pictured above)
In her speech, she thanked President Jonathan for finding her worthy out of the 160million Nigerians and also listed her achievements while she was Minister. Excerpts from her speech below...
"It was a great privilege to be chosen from amongst the 160million Nigerians to serve in the Federal cabinet. My profound gratitude goes to Mr President who gave me this rare privilege. I also want to thank for him all the support he accorded me to pursue his transformation agenda in the Aviation sector. I equally wish to thank my aides, aviation sector workers and stake holders who partnered with me to realize our vision & mission in the sector. During my tenure, we gave our best to institute reforms in line with Mr President's Transformation Agenda. We produced the Aviation sector Master-plan and implementation Road map. Using the Masterplan and Roadmap, we were ably to...
-Reconstruct and Remodel all 22 federally-owned airports across the country. We also commenced the construction of Five International terminals in Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, Enugu and Kano.
-We also introduced the Perishable Cargo and Aerotrolis concepts to drive the growth and development of not only the aviation sector but also the country while modalities have been completed to kick-start the Aeropolis project.
-We also carried out institutional reforms, built the capacity of NCAT to produce enough professionals for both the local aviation market and for export.
-My greatest accomplishment comes from the safety and security of the Nigerian Airspace. We were able to procure,update and install safety-critical infrastructure that has repositioned the sector to achieve our objective of zero-accident rate in the Nigerian Airspace" she said.
You Better Listen
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Eight people are said to have died in a tragic fire that overwhelmed the residence of former minister of state for education, Hajiya Bintu Ibrahim Musa, at Garki Area 8 in Abuja.
Jamila Kasimu, who was among five people who survived the fire outbreak, told Daily Trust that they were sleeping in the house when they suddenly became aware of the smoke.
She narrated that it was almost midnight, while sleeping in the living room that they were suddenly awoken by the smoke.
Jamila said they were all women and children sleeping on the top floor of the two storey building when the fire started, saying in the confusion they began shouting for help and knocking the bedroom doors to wake those sleeping.
She said, out of the eight people that died, six were children; four young boys and two girls, while two women also died.
Jamila lamented that a daughter of the owner of the house who died, also lost two children in the fire tragedy. The former minister, Hajiya Bintu Ibrahim Musa, was said to be hospitalized at a private clinic in Abuja, with severe skin burns along with another daughter who was also hospitalized after the fire.
Jamila explained that there were many relatives and friends of the family in the house because of the wedding of one of the daughters of Hajiya Bintu, held at the weekend.
Daily Trust also gathered that neighbors who attempted to rescue those trapped in the house fire only escaped through windows of the second storey building because of the severity of the fire.
About five survivors who ran out of the building calling for help realized that others were trapped inside and called the attention of neighbors who tried to rescue the victims.
Jamila also said all the victims who died did not suffer severe burns but died from suffocation from inhaling too much smoke.
She noted that some of the children were still breathing when taken out of the building, only to die in hospital as a result of the effect of the choking smoke.
The fire service put out fire around 12 midnight on Monday, 17th February 2014.
Actors' Guild of Nigeria members including Ibinabo Fiberesima, Monalisa Chinda,Stephanie Linus, Fred Amata, Joseph Benjamin, Desmond Elliot, Victor Osuagwu, Chidi Mokeme, Mercy Aigbe and others paid a courtesy visit to President Jonathan at the State House today Feb. 18th to install him as Grand Patron of the Guild.
They also asked president Jonathan to sack heads of movie regulatory agencies, the Nigerian Film Corporation, NFC, and The National Film and Video Censors Board (NFVCB), because they have shown lack of capacity to put the industry on the path of growth. See more photos after the cut...
Nollywood stars, Ibinabo Fiberesima, Chidimma Aneke and Stephanie Linus, were both spotted in Abuja today (Tuesday).The triplet are with a delegation from the Actors Guild of Nigeria, which were in town to pay a courtesy visit on President Goodluck Jonathan in Nigeria.
We must say that the ladies are looking lovely.
Five persons were ambushed and killed on Monday night near a bridge on Gero road, Jos South Local Government Area of Northern Plateau state.
The Plateau State Police Public Relations Officer, Felicia Anselm, confirmed the incident to Premium Times.
She said that while no arrest has been made, the command was aware of the incident and has commenced investigations.
Ms. Anselm, however, disputed the number of casualties as stated by family sources and witnesses. She said only two people were killed and some others were injured.
"The incident was reported to us early hours of Tuesday. The attack occurred last night; the people were attacked by unknown persons."
Ms. Anselm said troops have been deployed "to the scene and have commenced investigations into the killings."
Residents of the area, however, say they are certain that five people were killed in the incident. A relation of one of the victims, who gave his name as Chomo, said that the victims who were mostly in their mid 30st were returning from a political meeting held in the late hours of Monday in a local settlement within the council area.
"Two of the victims are Berom people, then the other three are Irrigwe speaking nationals of Bassa, they were returning from political meeting concerning next Tuesday local government elections."
It was also gathered that the victims had been buried because the bodies were mutilated.
The local government elections in Plateau State have been scheduled for February 25 and campaigns by candidates have been going into late hours. Last week, three persons were killed by yet to be identified gunmen in Bukuru, the headquarters of Jos. They were found dead in an abandoned building.
When David Beckham announced his plans to launch a new MLS franchise out of Miami he promised the world in terms of playing personnel, claiming he wanted the best to come and join him. Well he can't have set the bar too much higher for his first reported target, current Ballon d'Or holder and general goal machine Cristiano Ronaldo.
Playing on the fact that Ronaldo said back in 2012 that he'd like the opportunity to play in America and boost the profile of soccer in the country, much like Beckham did with his LA Galaxy move, the former England skipper is hopeful he can land the Portuguese winger in three years time.
That's thought to be when his Miami side will enter the MLS and by then Ronaldo will be in his early 30s, leaving the timing perfect for Beckham to bring the Portuguese phenom to the US to wind down his career.
An MLS source told The Sun: "Becks understands the need for a big, big name in the team when it gets going.
"It's not a secret he has thought about finishing his career here, about living here - so a deal like this could be perfect for him."
It'd be a frightening prospect to see the former Manchester United player tear MLS defences limb from limb, considering his current goal-scoring record stands at one every game and a half at the highest possible club level.
Should he take his talents to South Beach that record would surely sky rocket and a successful capture of one of the best players in the world would set a fairly large marker as to the seriousness with which Beckham is taking his franchise.
For now though, Ronaldo must focus on Madrid, who are 11/10 to win the Spanish title having pulled level with local rivals Atletico and arch nemesis Barcelona.
President Goodluck Jonathan has appointed his new Chief of Staff.
Brig-General Jones Oladehinde Arogbofa (rtd.) will replace Mike Oghiadomhe whowas sackedon February 10.
The appointment is with immediate effect, the spokesperson of the president, Reuben Abati has twitted.
Pres. Jonathan has appointed Brig-General Jones Oladehinde Arogbofa (rtd.) as his Chief of Staff. The appointment is with immediate effect.
- Reuben Abati (@abati1990)February 18, 2014
Earlier today, Senate early todayconfirmedSenator Musiliu Obanikoro (Lagos), General Aliyu Gusau (Zamfara) and nine others as ministers.
Oghiadomhe - resigned or forced out?
Different accounts exist as to why Oghiadomhe left office.
Abati had told reporters that Oghiadomhe had resigned because he wanted to pursue political opportunities in the ruling Peoples Democratic Party (PDP).
Government sources, however, said he was sacked because of hisalleged involvement in some corruption schemes,including in the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC)
International, Emmanuel Amunike, as the new head coach of the Nigerian male U-17 national team, the Golden Eaglets.
too much about them. Then later, we discover the seedy underbelly—often when the couple splits—and are disillusioned all over again.
